[this space for rent]

We’re here live at Scapegoats Anonymous… ¤ P.M. Dawn ¤ Plastic

EEP.

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 16th, 2008

This is indeed a disturbing universe. - - Margaret Simpson

I should add in his rookie year he was walking out of a Hooters I was walking into; had I been able to see the future five-year valley the Chargers would enter I would’ve pushed him onto the nearby fire hydrant and broken his back.   Homer at the aquarium style.

Good lord, on the one hand, that alternate universe looks awesome what with me doing Halle Berry wearing my Charlotte Hornets Kobe jersey and living in a mansion while I spend my nights doing cocaine, calling the producers of Boondock Saints III to demand more gumball machines in my trailer and beating Osama Bin Laden within an inch of his life in the basement, but on the other hand…

…I’m sure something horrible happened there like Veronica Mars never aired or something.  Gimme time to think about it.

Flo Rida feat. Timbaland ¤ ELEVATOR

Posted in Football, WTF | No Comments »

KOSC: WSTFU

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 14th, 2008

Finally, tonight, as promised, a Special Comment on two topics a lot of us had foolishly thought, had naively hoped, we would not again have to address… and a third topic nobody thought a President would ever seriously mention in public unless perhaps he’d just been hit in the head with something and was not in full possession of his faculties how he expressed his empathy to the families of the dead in Iraq by giving up golf.

The President has resorted anew to the sleaziest fear-mongering and mass manipulation of an administration of a public life dedicated to realizing the lowest of our expectations.

And he has now applied these poisons to the 2008 presidential election, on behalf of the party at whose center he and Mr. McCain lurk.

Mr. Bush has predicted that the election of a Democratic president could, quote, “eventually lead to another attack on the United States.”

This ludicrous, infuriating, holier-than-thou and most importantly bone-headedly wrong statement came yesterday during an interview with Politico.com and online users of Yahoo.

The question was phrased as follows:

“If we were to pull out of Iraq next year, what’s the worst that could happen, what’s the doomsday scenario?”The President replied:

“Doomsday scenario of course is that extremists throughout the Middle East would be emboldened, which would eventually lead to another attack on the United States.

“The biggest issue we face is, it’s bigger than Iraq, it’s this ideological struggle against cold-blooded killers who will kill people to achieve their political objectives.’

Mr. Bush, at long last, has it not dawned on you that the America you have now created, includes ‘cold-blooded killers who will kill people to achieve their political objectives’?

They are those in, or formerly in, your employ, who may yet be charged some day… with war crimes.

Through your haze of self-congratulation and self-pity, do you still have no earthly clue that this nation has laid waste to Iraq to achieve your political objectives?

This ideological struggle,’ Mr. Bush, is taking place within this country.

It is a struggle between Americans who cherish freedom, ours and everybody else’s, and Americans like you, Sir, to whom freedom is just a brand name, just like “Patriot Act” is a brand name or “Protect America” is a brand name.

But wait, there’s more.

You also said “Iraq is the place where al Qaeda and other extremists have made their stand and they will be defeated.”

They made no “stand” in Iraq, Sir , you allowed them to assemble there!

As certainly as if that were the plan, the borders were left wide open by your government’s farcical post-invasion strategy of ‘they’ll greet us as liberators.’

And as certainly as if that were the plan, the inspiration for another generation of terrorists in another country was provided by your government’s farcical post-invasion strategy of letting the societal infra-structure of Iraq dissolve, to be replaced by an American Vice-Royalty enforced by merciless mercenaries who shoot unarmed Iraqis and then evade prosecution in any country, by hiding behind your skirts, Sir.

Terrorism inside Iraq is your creation, Mr. Bush!

It was a Yahoo user who brought up the second topic upon whose introduction Mr. Bush should have passed, or punted, or gotten up and left the room claiming he heard Dick Cheney calling him.

“Do you feel,” asked an ordinary American, “that you were misled on Iraq?”

“I feel like — I felt like, there were weapons of mass destruction. You know, “mislead” is a strong word, it almost connotes some kind of intentional — I don’t think so, I think there was a — not only our intelligence community, but intelligence communities all across the world shared the same assessment. And so I was disappointed to see how flawed our intelligence was.”

Flawed.

You, Mr. Bush, and your tragically know-it-all minions, threw out every piece of intelligence that suggested there were no such weapons.

You, Mr. Bush, threw out every person who suggested that the sober, contradictory, reality-based intelligence needed to be listened to, fast.

You, Mr. Bush, are responsible for how “intelligence communities all across the world shared the same assessment.”

You and the sycophants you dredged up and put behind the most important steering wheel in the world propagated palpable nonsense and shoved it down the throat of every intelligence community across the world and punished anybody who didn’t agree it was really chicken salad.

And you, Mr. Bush, threw under the bus, all of the subsequent critics who bravely stepped forward later to point out just how much of a self-fulfilling prophecy you had embraced, and adopted as this country’s policy in lieu of, say, common sense.

The fiasco of pre-war intelligence, Sir, is your fiasco.

You should build a great statue of yourself turning a deaf ear to the warnings of realists, while you are shown embracing the three-card monte dealers like Richard Perle and Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney.

That would be a far more fitting tribute to your legacy, Mr. Bush, than this Presidential library you are constructing as a giant fable about your presidency an edifice you might as claim was built from Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction because there will be just as many of those inside your Presidential library as there were inside Saddam Hussein’s Iraq.

Of course if there is one over-riding theme to this president’s administration it is the utter, always-failing, inability to know when to quit when it is behind.

And so Mr. Bush answered yet another question about this layered, nuanced, wheels-within-wheels garbage heap that constituted his excuse for war.

“And so you feel that you didn’t have all the information you should have or the right spin on that information?”

“No, no,” replied the President. “I was told by people, that they had weapons of mass destruction…”

People?

What people?

The insane informant “Curveball?”

The Iraqi snake-oil salesman Ahmed Chalabi?

The American snake-oil salesman Dick Cheney?

“I was told by people that they had weapons of mass destruction, as were members of Congress, who voted for the resolution to get rid of Saddam Hussein.

“And of course, the political heat gets on and they start to run and try to hide from their votes.”

Mr. Bush, you destroyed the evidence that contradicted the resolution you jammed down the Congress’s throat, the way you jammed it down the nation’s throat.

When required by law to verify that your evidence was accurate, you simply re-submitted it, with phrases amounting to “See, I done proved it,” virtually written in the margins in crayon.

You defied patriotic Americans to say “The Emperor Has No Clothes” only with the stakes (as you and the mental dwarves in your employ put it) being a “mushroom cloud over an American city.”

And as a final crash of self-indulgent nonsense, when the incontrovertible truth of your panoramic and murderous deceit has even begun to cost your political party seemingly perpetual congressional seats in places like North Carolina and, last night, Mississippi, you can actually say with a straight face, Sir, that for members of Congress the political heat gets on and they start to run and try to hide from their votes” - while you greet the political heat and try to run and hide from your presidency, and your legacy, 4,000 of the Americans you were supposed to protect, dead in Iraq, with your only feeble, pathetic answer being, “I was told by people that they had weapons of mass destruction.”

Then came Mr. Bush’s final blow to our nation’s solar plexus, his last re-opening of our common wounds, his last remark that makes the rest of us question not merely his leadership or his judgment but his very suitably to remain in office.

“Mr. President,” he was asked, “you haven’t been golfing in recent years. Is that related to Iraq?

“Yes,” began perhaps the most startling reply of this nightmarish blight on our lives as Americans on our history.

“It really is. I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died, to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”

Golf, Sir?

Golf sends the wrong signal to the grieving families of our men and women butchered in Iraq?

Do you think these families, Mr. Bush, their lives blighted forever, care about you playing golf…

Do you think, Sir, they care about you?

You, Mr. Bush, let their sons and daughters be killed.

Sir, to show your solidarity with them you gave up golf?

Sir, to show your solidarity with them you didn’t give up your pursuit of this insurance-scam, profiteering, morally and financially bankrupting war.

Sir, to show your solidarity with them you didn’t even give up talking about Iraq a subject about which you have incessantly proved without pause or backwards glance, that you may literally be the least informed person in the world?

Sir, to show your solidarity with them, you didn’t give up your presidency?

In your own words  “solidarity as best as I can”  is to stop a game? That is the “best” you can?

4,000 Americans give up their lives and your sacrifice was to give up golf!

Golf.

Not “gulf” — golf.

And still it gets worse.

Because it proves that the President’s unendurable sacrifice, his unbearable pain, the suspension of getting to hit a stick with a ball, was not even his own damned idea.

“Mr. President, was there a particular moment or incident that brought you to that decision, or how did you come to that?”

“I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man’s life. And I was playing golf — I think I was in central Texas — and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, it’s just not worth it any more to do.”

Your one, tone-deaf, arrogant, pathetic, embarrassing gesture, and you didn’t even think of it yourself?

The great Bushian sacrifice, an Army private loses a leg, a Marine loses half his skull, four thousand of their brothers and sisters lose their lives, you lose golf and they have to pull you off the golf course to get you to just do that?

If it’s even true.

Apart from your medical files, which dutifully record your torn calf muscle and the knee pain which forced you to give up running at the same time,coincidence no doubt,the bombing in Baghdad which killed Sergio Vieira de Mello of the UN and interrupted your round of golf, was on August 19th, 2003.

Yet CBS News has records of you playing golf as late as October 13th of that year, nearly two months later.

Mr. Bush, I hate to break it to you six-and-a-half years after you yoked this nation and your place in history to the wrong war, in the wrong place, against the wrong people.

But the war in Iraq is not about you.

It is not, Mr. Bush, about your grief when American after American comes home in a box.

It is not, Mr. Bush, about what your addled brain has produced in the way of paranoid delusions of risks that do not exist, ready to be activated if some Democrat, and not your twin Mr. McCain succeeds you.

The war in Iraq, your war, Mr. Bush, is about how you accomplished the derangement of two nations, and how you helped funnel billions of taxpayer dollars to lascivious and perennially thirsty corporations like Halliburton and Blackwater, and how you sent 4,000 Americans to their deaths for nothing.

It is not, Mr. Bush, about your golf game!

And, Sir, if you have any hopes that next January 20th will not be celebrated as a day of soul-wrenching, heart-felt Thanksgiving, because your faithless stewardship of this presidency will have finally come to a merciful end, this last piece of advice:

When somebody asks you, Sir, about Democrats who must now pull this country back from the abyss you have placed us at…

When somebody asks you, Sir, about the cooked books and faked threats you foisted on a sincere and frightened nation…

When somebody asks you, Sir, about your gallant, noble, self-abnegating sacrifice of your golf game so as to soothe the families of the war dead.

This advice, Mr. Bush…

Shut the… hell up!

Good night, and good luck.

Posted in Keith Olbermann, Leaders And Followers | No Comments »

How To Win Friends And Influence Mashups

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 10th, 2008

Oh, this is worth a cross-posting.

{reproduced with permission from Colatron.com)

Well, this is officially my first collaboration in more ways than one.

As some of you may remember, about 6 months ago, I made a little promo one shot for Scott over at Ramdom Thoughts, which was basicaly based upon an idea that me sweet sweeeeet Angel gave me. We were chillin’ over at my flat one night when she mentioned the Beatnuts’ tuned that was sampled on J-Lo’s “Jennie from the Block”. I wasn’t familiar with the original so I googled “Brooklyn Bomb” upon her advice. I eventually came by a little instrumental jobbie, by some unknown artist that sampled several beats from various hip-hop superstars, that included the Beatnuts that I fell in love with immediately. This became the basis for my instrumental, and eventually after trying a few other instrumentals over the top of it, the Verve’s legendary “Bittersweet Symphony” fitted it perfectly.

You have to remember, when I first went to Uni, my musical life revolved around house, old skool and d’n’b. I’d grown up hanging out at my mates’ houses listening to the likes of the Smiths and the Roses, and even though I was in denial to be controversial, I did like guitar based/indie music, but it was all about the beats for me at the time. I went along to the V98 festival in Leeds more for the drinking than the music, but it all changed once I saw the Verve headline on the Sunday night. It’s an old cliche about life changing moemnts but this was literally just that. I have no qualms about admitting, I cried me eyes out to the live version of “Lucky Man” and “History” still sends a shiver down my spine, but “Bittersweet Symphony” remians for me, THE defining song of the 90s, Needless to say, it’s still my most favourite gig I’ve ever been to (and there’s been a few now!) and the Verve’s “Urban Hymns” is still in my top 5 albums of all time. It inspired me to learn guitar and wear flares. That’s powerful music!

Anyway, so the promo was made with my trademark Colatron voices and samples, and it was well received, generating more traffic to the site, plus it earned a fair few downloads for a short piece. I had to try and make a full length track out of it.

So off and on, over the last 6 months, I’ve revisited the Acid Pro session, completing the instrumental part of things around the same time as I finished the EVP sessions. I just did not have a vocal to fit it.

An avid reader of the Island of Misfit Songs blog by the incomparable Butch Rosser (aka DJ Brother Darkness) in the US, I’d clocked a few months back that he occasionally posts a list of ideas he has that he’d like fellow mashers ot throw together for him. A few ideas have really excited me, but I’ve just never got around to making them. But on the last challenge, Butch had the genius idea of pairing Adina Howard’s “Freak Like Me” (butchered by the Sugababes) with soul classic, “Mr. Big Stuff” by Jean Knight (which holds another special place in my heart ever since my good friend Kirsty was the Soccerette of the week on Sky Sports Soccer AM show a few years back and she had to do that catwalk thingy to it). In theory, a great pairing, but in practice, my laziness prevented me from putting the effort in to match the two.

Another of Butch’s ideas involved matchign Biggie Smalls with the Verve - I’ve never been a Biggie fan as such, but as mentioned, I’m a HUGE Verve fan. The cogs were turning in my head. I have a Verve track, with a strong back beat made, hmmm…..

I dropped the Adina vocal in and well, excuse the French but shit me if it didn’t virtually fit immediately…..

3 weeks later, playing around with various track placings/cuts, and looking for that final touch (I went for a home-made Bittersweet Symphony acapella to bring the anthemic lyrics back in) and here it is. I have to give a little it of credit to Angel, you are quite literally the best hon (you need to meet this girl - 6ft 2″ of ex-model/dancer perfection, now signed to a NY rap label - she is simply awesome) and I have to give a whole load of credit to Butch for giving me the inspiration to take two of his ideas and mash them. A mash of a mash. Crazy. So yeah, this is essentially, Colatron & DJ Brother Darkness on the ones and twos. I love it, it’s going back to the hiphop beats of early Colatron, and it’s freaky like a monkey

Colatron & DJ Brother Darkness present….

Brooklyn Sweet Freakphony

featuring
Pharoah Monche - Simon Says (Intro)
Unknown - Brooklyn Bomb (feat. Slick Rick, Crooklyn Clan, Bad Boy, Beatnuts, Time Zone, Biggie, Jay-Z, Mase, Mobb Deep & Nas)
Adina Howard - Freak Like Me
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony (both instrumental and DIY acapella)

and vocal excerpts from the following movies

Hideous!
Timerunner

PICK UP THE MP3!

Chris Brown feat. T-Pain ¤ KISS KISS

Posted in Island Of Misfit Songs | No Comments »

Midweek Sidebar

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 7th, 2008

BARBARA BERMUDO over American Chicks Doing The News Who Top Out At 7, Tops - ¡VIVA UNIVISION!

PUTTING THE IDEA OF DOING A DEMO IN MY HEAD over Blank Space Up There - I should do a demo?  I should!  It’s been…what, six months?  Yeah!  Time to DO THIS!

KNOWING HOW TO DO A DEMO over Not - Unfortunately, I don’t.  Yet.  But just you wait!

LOVEFOOL over Cult Of Personality - Big up to Nina!  Tragically, I ended up singing Mexican Radio.  Good news: I wore a sombrero.  Bad news: Still lost.

Working On Friday Night over GOING OUT - Well, I let a hot woman get married instead of breaking it up and stayed in making zip files to DJ a wedding 3,000 miles away instead of going to party and get busy.   Maturity!  eh.

Keeping $40 over SEEING THE HOLD STEADY PLAYING DOWN THE STREET - ANY other band I give a shit about on this bill and I’m in.  But there isn’t.  So I’m not.

FORGETTING I HAVE AIM over Using It - I swear I will get back on there sometime soon.

A THIRD Z-TRIP SHOW over I Dunno, Other Stuff? - He’s going to end up being the Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back of DJs at this rate.  I don’t know why he’s here every monthish, but I’m joyous to take it.

ADDENDUM:

Still Rooting For Florida State over DOING METH: 

This site, FTW.

KEITH AND THE GIRL ¤ 715: Our Own Fans (sooooooooooo behind)

Posted in Music, Wrist Fuel, Football, Underrated Hotties, Island Of Misfit Songs, WBR Inc™, Midweek Sidebar | No Comments »

With Great Power Comes Musical Responsibility

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 1st, 2008

You ever go through 2,500 songs in 90 minutes?

Along with the privileges of winning at charity karaoke, was the responsibility to pick new tracks to bolster the empire. And while I wanted to put “The One I Love”, “Ain’t No Other Man”, “Back Stabbers”, and ESPECIALLY “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” on the list, this is the elite 10 that ended up making the cut.

Chic ¤ Good Times
Eminem ¤ The Way I Am
Faith No More ¤ Epic
Foo Fighters ¤ The Pretender
Foreigner ¤ I Want To Know What Love Is
Whitney Houston ¤ I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Maroon 5 ¤ Makes Me Wonder
Bob Marley ¤ Could You Be Loved?
Robert Palmer ¤ Addicted To Love
Timbaland Presents One Republic ¤ Apologize

So THAT should be fun.

Black Rob ¤ WHOA!

Posted in Music | No Comments »

Better Know A Hottie

Posted by Butch Rosser on May 1st, 2008

Busy.  So busy.   So since no one’s paying attention anyhow (at least for the past few posts), I can skip the Sidebar this week and get back into shipping a mix off to Florida before I punch in a 10-hour shift.   Your Bible says don’t covert thy neighbor’s wife, but since Ice-T’s neighborhood is much better than mine here’s his wife Coco:

That’s What She Said ¤ NIGHT OUT REVIEW

Posted in Wrist Fuel, Underrated Hotties | 1 Comment »

Butch’s Excellent New York Adventure

Posted by Butch Rosser on April 28th, 2008

I’m back

Back in the New York groove…

What the hell was I thinking writing epic posts?  I can just jump on a podcast and you can listen to the stuff I was going to write for 2 hours!  I love you, technology!

Keith & the Girl ¤ 711: Jessie’s Girl

Posted in We Had Some Massive Nights, Wrist Fuel, Legen--wait for it--wait for it--you ready?--dary, Meet me at the club/it's GOIN' DOWN, Brother Love Rocks, Nomnomnomnomnom | No Comments »